Monday, November 11, 2019

Search Within


what is the path
that I want to choose

I see miles of silence

years of loneliness

what is the purpose
that I am

what will I give
what can I take

I can cry
tears of rivers
but can I swim in them

what is the purpose
why am I here
and not there

but where is there
where is, what is, there

nothing is mine
yet my eyes fill with tears
at losing it

if I cannot understand
why I am
do I expect to understand
to recognise, to embrace
  the place I do not know
where I am headed to

I am lonely
and I cannot see ahead
because my eyes are filled with tears

Wednesday, November 06, 2019

Symmetry / Asymmetry

I'm really not sure what I am looking at here; to the left is a piece of the Taj West End in Bangalore, while the right half looks like a cracked outdoor wall. Yet there is only one negative. So, is it one of those things where the tail end of a film roll accidentally joins half of one picture to part of another, because you wound the film over the camera's spool incorrectly?

At any rate, I like the way the curve of the sheer curtain on the left almost mirrors the curved crack on the right. Symmetry-assymetry of form, of refinement and harshness, of delicate carvings and mud.

I tinted it sepia because I could.

Sunday, November 03, 2019


At an outdoor restaurant in Bangalore, sometime around 1980

For more on the girl in the picture, see my earlier blog post, Familiar

Sunday, October 20, 2019

memories overlapping

memories overlapping
other memories
likewise overlapping others
until they diffuse
and fade away
into nothingness


Saturday, October 05, 2019


Color film negative. 

I find it difficult to sleep. One night I was sitting up late, taking pictures to pass the time, and I picked up some foil gift-wrap which had enclosed a bottle of wine. I took a few pictures of it and then decided to burn a hole in it, to see what that looked like. I put a light behind the hole, and produced what might possibly be a new galaxy coming into being. Or something quite different, what do you think?

Saturday, September 21, 2019

Conversation 2: Past Present

Bhashwati wrote:

Actually not one but several conversations are happening here.

The diminutive adult who may have been a helper or attendant at an earlier point and could be conversing with his memories of those "better" days which actually may have been hard days of toil for him but considering the ravages of time on the building and his own life, the present must seem far more unbearable.

And then theres the gnarled knotted tree bent but not broken and still visited by spring. conversing with itself and with the walls that will never be revisited by old glory.

And the doors windows pillars passages conversing together in a perennial assembly of mourning.

And the light outside and the dark shadows within, they may be conversing too.

To say nothing of the embedded traces of lives that have lived loved lost within these premises. 
Would they not be conversing with each other too?

Bahut khoob hai.

i wonder where it was hidden all these years.

Wednesday, September 18, 2019

A Little Girl? Or My Brother?

When my younger brother, Bhupen, was a baby, he had several serious health scares, including diphtheria. My parents made a vow for his protection, that they would not cut his hair for several years, and then the hair would be offered at a temple. Even today, one can see little boys with unusually long hair, sometimes braided and be-ribboned, waiting for the moment when it would be cut and offered to a deity.

I looked at this picture and saw my brother's face; but then my wife pointed out that the child was wearing earrings. Did my parents go that far with their vow? I don't know, but I like the child's open, determined expression, fearlessly facing the world.